That’s What It’s Like to Be Depressed

That’s What It’s Like to Be Depressed

 I am an empty, hollow man going through the prescribed motions of the day. I do this to appease the people around me. Mostly my loved ones. I do it because I dread the question that most people feel compelled to ask. 

“How are you doing?”

I go through the motions because I'm tired of hating myself and letting down everyone around me. That's how I'm doing. But I'll lie and say everything's fine. That's what it's like to be depressed. 

I'm not bummed out or disappointed about something in particular. I'm fundamentally sad for no reason at all. I try so hard to pantomime smiles just so no one will ask the question. That's what it's like to be depressed. 

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Could This One Habit Be What You’re Missing?

Could This One Habit Be What You’re Missing?

Since really facing my depression, I realized I wasn't showing much gratitude for my life. It was an easy trap to fall in to. I stopped being thankful for the small things, and the big things followed right along.

I've recently started making a gratitude list at the end of the day. It's a simple reminder to slow down and take stock of the things I'm grateful for each day. 

I'm trying to make some new habits to help me appreciate life. Making a gratitude list is one of them. And you know what? It's helping. Really. Gratitude has been a missing key to contentment. 

Here's how I'm doing it:

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And I Walk Away, or How I Finally Decided to Quit Teaching

And I Walk Away, or How I Finally Decided to Quit Teaching

“Teaching is a high pressure and stress filled profession, Justin. Lots of people just aren't cut out for it.”

My principal's words were salt in an open wound. They cut deep. And they hurt. They hurt because I knew he was right. The after school conversation was not what I had hoped.

It all started last spring when my depression was getting worse. The stress at school and home kept mounting. I knew I wasn't feeling like myself. My medicine wasn't working like it used to. I was feeling terrible and waking up sad more and more frequently. I knew things were not going well.

Then I got the e-mail from my principal.

 

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